To Stay or Not to Stay

I can’t stay is an original music about lost love.

Have you ever been in love? Have you ever thought that love could last?

Have you ever been with someone hoping that they’re the one? You can’t believe how lucky you are but not sure if that is the case.

I’m not sure how fragile a heart is but mine I guess is so. I understand. To be in a relationship is so very difficult. You have to be there for that person and help build him for your relationship to grow. You need to consistently communicate and have an open mind and heart for that person. You need to have the patience and understanding because not everybody is perfect. Despite all that, you still accept that person and wish for your growth together as a person and grow your relationship as well.

I know all of that, we know that but somethings you just can’t control, how at first feel so in love then out of the blue something just suddenly pops. It’s like a medicine that loses its effect. Pop! Gone! No more! It’s like it just vanished in thin air. What seemed to be love is gone.

You tried and you tried to pick it up, look for it, look into the precipice of that person and your relationship but alas, it just can’t be found.

What do you do just then? Can you continue on if there’s no love anymore? What do you do when in the middle of your relationship you get unsatisfied with every single thing? Sometimes it’s not your partner, sometimes it’s just you. Because, if you truly love or still do love the person you wouldn’t try to change him. You could accept him wholeheartedly and believe in a good future together.

You will not notice every single detail that might fall into a fight. No. I believe if you truly love that person, you will have the patience, understanding, and the heart to help your partner no matter what.

What do you do just then if you find yourself thinking. Worrying all the time. You find yourself tired of building your partner up, changing that person in hope to find the lost love?

Eventually, just like I did,you may get tired. You may feel like you’ve been doing the emotional support, and all the rational thinking and advice for that person but you find yourself alone. Still, despite you being partners, you feel like they depend on you more and you cannot depend on the later.

Maybe you might even feel like it’s a dead weight. What do you do just then? Will you still stay? Will it be reasonable. Is it just out of your long relationship? Out of fear of being alone? Out of pity? Guilt?

What would you do? If you are just like me, you might feel the same way, you just cannot stay anymore. No matter how, it’s just much more cruel to keep pretending. Just be honest. Know that there will be another better for your partner or better for you.

In light of my feelings I can’t associate with songs of today, i created a song for lost love like mine. For those having a hard time to let go but needs to free yourself and your partner of the relationship your staging.

If you wan’t to hear and know about a journey of a lost love, please listen to my music I have written and arranged. How love could be associated to the four seasons until you decided that you just can’t stay anymore.

Please let me know in the comments what you think on this post or on the video would be nice. See lyrics on my video description.

Keep safe everyone!

We all have that Special Someone, We’ve Got to Make them Feel like It.

You’ve got to give the love!

I often wonder, how is it possible or what did I do to ever deserve someone like him? Last time I checked my records, I am not even on the top ten list of the most responsible and kind person in anywhere you can find yet I feel like what I have with me is more than what I ever wished for. I have never known such love as he has given me and I have never felt such happiness and pride from how he is becoming.

I found the one most special to me in my baby, Alden Ezekiel and he is a fighter. From the very beginning of his life he was in a brink of death and was even rushed to a hospital a few days after but as time passes, a strong, healthy, smart and healthy child relentlessly makes his presence known as more than just a baby but a baby that gives us a promise that he is going to make us all really proud.

I know I am being biased since I am his mother but it is a mystery indeed on how he is so different from everyone I see out there and in my eyes he is special, he is perfect, he is love. Although most people say the obvious difference between him from everyone else like him I am still in awe. He is like an answered prayer, everything and even more than what I have ever wished for.

In everyday all I wanted was to show my love to him. I think we all want to do that to someone who is very special in our life. Everyday, I wake up with him already crying for me to wake up. Everyday he cries because he needs me and makes it clear to everyone that it is me who he truly want. All though to some of you hearing a baby cry can be irritating especially if it is so loud that it almost wont stop but for a mother, It is a sign of a baby’s love because the moment that you touch your baby when he cries, is the most wonderful thing because a mother’s touch can make what seems so chaotic so peaceful that sometimes a cry can turn to laughter once you get to carry him.

For me, being always there for him is how I show my love, although I work for a few hours a day, i still a lot most of my time to him. I believe that is how you truly show someone who he is special to you. By being always there for him most especially if he needs you.

Time is the best gift you could ever give to everyone because to everyone, time is special. Isn’t it that the best thing to give someone special is something special as well? Something intangible that can not be replaced by anything or taken back. Something that they will carry for ever through time itself. Because time is not unlimited. Although most would say we have lots of time but let me ask you. How often do you get to say that?

Right now i am cherishing everyday of my time with my baby because he is my most special one because I know I can never go back to the time right here and now.

Time is precious and time can be a choice. Your time is your choice. Wouldn’t you choose to give that time to someone special?

Somehow, in the back of my mind that the answer to my question – how is it possible or what did I do to ever deserve someone like him? Is that so I can become better and become someone who is worthy of him. That is by making him feel everyday that he is special. by making sure that everyday, my time is all for him.

What it means to wait?

Poeple always say God has a plan so they wait for it; God’s plan. Others believe in destiny, fate so others just wait for that big break, that one moment when everything you imagined life to be just falls into place.

To what cause does the wait finally ceases? What does it really mean to wait?

Well there are these certain powers you should consider. First it’s time, very powrful indeed because sometimes, its just all about the right timing. There are just things that you thought its for you but turns out it doesn’t work for you because there’s a better time for that.

Secondly there is you. You make it possible with everything you got. Your mind, heart and body must work. Imagine what do you think or want your destiny to be. After that ask yourself. What should you do to achieve it? What or who could inspire you to do that?

And thirdly is you lift it up to the Divine Provider. Pray that he would help you lessen or make esier those obstacles in order to achieve your destiny. Your destiny of success.

So what does it mean to wait? Its easy. Don’t be in a hurry. Trust God. Believe in yourself and do something. After that it maybe long, but the waiting is done. At least you get a little less bored with it.

Life’s Little Angels

Meet my baby, Alden Ezekiel. He’s just exactly 3 weeks old by now and I can say he is my little angel. A beatiful creature sent from above.

Somehow you might ask what is so interesting about him that I’m posting a story about him anyway?

Well let me just say that from the very beginning it is not planned that I’d have to raise a baby by this time and most especially alone.

I know a lot of prying eyes would be around a lot of challenge awaits and really something unexpected would really be a risky thing to pursue all the more a baby, a living creature whose life would be dependent on me. Not just a mere dog or cat or any pet you could just give away when you decided in the future you can’t take care of it. It’s a human creature that when he grows up has a mind that asks and needs a good foundation to grow up to be a good man.

I know most would result to abortion, or adoption but those things they may sound easy but its not most especially when you know its your baby. And he has the right to choose although not when he’s still swimming inside your womb or perhaps he’s too young to complain or comprehend and can do nothing but cry.

I did get to think about adoption but I don’t want him to suffer in the future and I also don’t want me to suffer in the future too.

Having him made a lot of difference in my life. Though at first everything seems so black white and grey. Having those vulnerable feelings of regret and depression soon evrything sliwly showed its color, its purpose.

It’s the feeling that at the moment you thought you lost everything is the moment you realize that you have everything. The feeling that the things or the live that you thought you didn’t have is just there. That it’s just because your so busy looking for it that you can’t see it’s already there. Overlooking the things you already have because you just wanted more not realizing that what you have is more than enough and that the things you thought you’ve finally found turns out they’re not for you but there is always a better reason why.

All these I realized in a span of nine months. My baby is a miracle. The joy of having a baby can’t be replaced. The moment I gave birth to him and the moment that I saw him made me really proud. It was an achievement for me and I know there’s more ahead.

It’s funny how a baby could be a teacher. They teach you responsibility, wisdome, fortitude and how to organize your life.

My little angel, my miracle, my baby Alden he’s the best gift I had in my life. Although he isn’t someone I’d expected to come soon, turns out it’s great to have him around.

Every baby is an angel, I hope you cherish yours.

Burying your anger

Anger is obviously a negative word and we want as few as possible negativity in our lives because anger as we know it can be a cause of many evil things and instead of leaving you joy and contentment, it leaves you sadness and regret.

It’s not wise to harness anger for whatever reasons it maybe. Anger does many horrible things to us humans, it makes us blind, deaf, lose respect and even makes us loose our reasoning and ourselves.

They say we should just learn to forgive and forget. Forgiving, is it possible? Yes, it’s possible though we all know it’s a really tough job to forgive but forgetting, that’s a different story. Honestly, could we really forget? If forgiving is hard then this one is far more than that unless you put yourself in a trance.

That is why I say we should always bury the cause of our anger 9 feet under the ground. It’s not totally gone but it’s obviously no where in sight because really sometimes even if we want to forget things it’s hard so just bury it and try to forgive. That one would be easier. You know it happened but you shouldn’t have to contemplate with that negative feeling too much.

Look at the brighter side, what did you learn from it and also always be reminded that anything done with anger would really be close to impossible to result into something beautiful or good.

So take my advice. Just burry the cause of your anger and try to forgive. Yeah maybe from time to time you’d remember it but you don’t always have to. Slowly dig under and when its deep enough, go throw it and leave it. Though its not totally forgotten at least very seldome would you have to remember it and you’ll see soon enough the anger is gone.

Story worth reading ( relationships)

Pregnancy Test.

(Pinoy Rap Radio; from My Hot Bedtime Stories 3 – Admin Galema)

Hugging my pillow, I remembered how the story goes from pinoy rap pregnancy test was. It was a real tear jerker, an almost impossible plot. If it was all good no, but it was one of the best short stories I’ve ever read.

It was about a man named Andrew who decided to cut things with her long term girlfriend Lorraine who was pretty and ambitious who wanted to pursue her medicine career in London. They were both successful here in the Philippines as Andrew wa also an Engineer. He once proposed a marriage to Lorraine but instead asked Andrew to wait for 3 years which made him decide to cut things with her though it’s hard. A lot coud happen in three years and he thought if in three years they were still single, if they’re meant to be then they are.

Andrew being depressed decided to sulk in the comforts of a club sulking in beer, there he met Lenna. She was young, about eighteen in his guess, innocent and obvoiusly new in there, she doesn’t even drink beer. Andrew found himself to be fond of Lenna that he would always be in the club with her. One day he decided to get her out of the club it is expected for Lenna that Andrew might take him to a motel but it was a surprise that he brought her in a restaurant. It was obvious that everything was so new to her that Andrew was left to wonder about her innocence.

And so days like that have been often and there wasn’t a day that he could ever forget to visit Lenna. He decided that he couldn’t take it if someone else gets to table her. So once he knew about how she was sold by her father to the club owner he decided to buy her out with the same price not agreeing, he doubled it, still not agreeing he threatened to call the police and close down the club.

Lenna was so happy. He was going to help her find a decent job, buy her a decent house and clothes. She was happy that she surpringly hugged him almost causing them to crash so they pulled over. That night, they admitted their love for one another. Soon, they got married. A very simple one because that’s what she wants. And later he wanted her to quit her job since he was earning more than enough for both of them.

Three years has passed since his ex was away that Lorraine showed up congratulating him joking that she was sad she wasn’t even excited but somehow you could see in her eyes that she still hasn’t moved on since also he heard that she still wasn’t married. When he got home he told her everything that happened that day to Lenna. She wasn’t affected since she trusted her husband.

Not long, he decided to have himself checked since was already longing for a child and unexpectedly, it was Lorraine who was to check him and on his first and second tests, the results was that he was impotent. He decided for a second opinion, to a friend of his and Lorraine’s and results were the same. As he was to go home thinking that Lenna would understand he would tell her what happened, he smelt something good was cooking like there was an occasion to celebrate.

As he got home he asked what was all of this for, and she told him a news he would never expect. She was pregnant. Suddenly, the table upside down. He couln’t believe it. His wife was having an affair, he even had her pushed down the floor. Soon he finds out from his neighbors that there was one time that they saw Lenna with another man.

Nights after that was spent in a bar sulking soon he would be home asking her for food when he wouldn’t eat, asking her to get fridge in the reff and even asking her strip and dance in front of him even if her tummy was already bigger dancing while her bottom lip, it was clear that she was feeling insulted. He wanted that. He wanted her to feel insulted as he did.

Things continued on getting drunk, having Lenna dance until he couln’t take it anymore, he found himself in front of Lorraine’s condominium. He told her everything and Lorraine comforting him said to him to leave Lenna and just stay with him.

Later he thought he should get a third opnion and he was surprised that the results were that he wasn’t impotent and he sought for another opinion and results were the same. He was shocked and was so sorry for what he did to Lenna. He soon confronted Lorrane and his friend and told them he would sue them for that. But in Lorraine’s defense, she just wanted to get revenge. She waited for him for her it wasn’t over but for him it was.

As he got home he called for Lenna she was no where in sight.  He was thinking that maybe she had enough and finally she decided to leave him. He called and called for her and even shouted her name until Lenna was n front of the door bringing with her the groceries. It was evident that there was fear in her eyes she explained to him that she only went out ti the market to buy something for dinner.

Andrew asked Lenna if she was mad at him and she said no. He told her how sorry he was and f she could forgive him and she said that she could never be mad at him. She owed him her life and she knew that everything would eventually get better once he sees their child. He hugged Lenna and he kissed both Lenna and their child. He was so sorry for both of them.

He told Lenna everything and again she said. It’s okay I know everything would soon be alright. Lenna told him not to sue Lorraine and Joel and so he did. Lorraine was just a victim of lovevand Joel was just someone who was in love with Lorraine.
Hugging my pillow, I remembered how the story goes from pinoy rap pregnancy test was. It was a real tear jerker, an almost impossible plot. If it was all good no, but it was one of the best short stories I’ve ever read.

It was about a man named Andrew who decided to cut things with her long term girlfriend Lorraine who was pretty and ambitious who wanted to pursue her medicine career in London. They were both successful here in the Philippines as Andrew wa also an Engineer. He once proposed a marriage to Lorraine but instead asked Andrew to wait for 3 years which made him decide to cut things with her though it’s hard. A lot coud happen in three years and he thought if in three years they were still single, if they’re meant to be then they are.

Andrew being depressed decided to sulk in the comforts of a club sulking in beer, there he met Lenna. She was young, about eighteen in his guess, innocent and obviously new in there, she doesn’t even drink beer. Andrew found himself to be fond of Lenna that he would always be in the club with her. One day he devided to get her out of the club it is expected for Lenna that Andrew might take him to a motel but it was a surprise that he brought her in a restaurant. It was obvious that everything was so new to her that Andrew was left to wonder about her innocence.

And so days like that have been often and there wasn’t a day that he could ever forget to visit Lenna. He decided that he couldn’t take it if someone else gets to table her. So ojce he knew about how she was sold by her father to the club owner he decided to buy her out with the same price not agreeing, he doubled it, still not agreeing he threatened to call the police ans close down the club.

Lenna was so happy. He was going to help her find a decent job, buy her a decent house and clothes. She was happy that she surpringly hugged him almost causing them to crash so they pulled over. That night, they admitted their ove for one another. Soon, they got married. A very simple one because that’s what she wants. And later he wanted her to quit her job since he was earning more than enough for both of them.

Three years has passed since his ex was away that Lorraine showed up congratulating him joking that she was sad she wasn’t even excited but somehow you could see in her eyes that she still hasn’t moved on since also he heard that she still wasn’t married. When he got home he told her everything that happened that day to Lenna. She wasn’t affected since she trusted her husband.

Not long, he decided to have himself checked since was already longing for a child and unexpectedly, it was Lorraine who was to check him and on his first and second tests, the results was that he was impotent. He decided for a second opinion, to a friend of his and Lorraine’s and results were the same. As he was to go home thinking that Lenna would understand he would tell her what happened, he smelt something good was cooking like there was an occasion to celebrate.

As he got home he asked what was all of this for, and she told him a news he would never expect. She was pregnant. Suddenly, the table upside down. He couln’t believe it. His wife was having an affair, he even had her pushed down the floor. Soon he finds out from his neughbors that there was one time that they saw Lenna with another man.

Nights after that was spent in a bar sulking soon he would be home asking her for food when he wouldn’t eat, asking her to get fridge in the reff and even asking her strip and dance in front of him even if her tummy was aready bigger dancing while her bottom lip, it was clear that she was feeling insulted. He wanted that. He wanted her to feel insulted as he did.

Things continued on getting drunk, having Lenna dance until he couln’t take it anymore, he found himself in front of Lorraine’s condominium. He told her everything and Lorraine comforting him said to him to leave Lenna and just stay with him.

Later he thought he should get a third opnion and he was surprised that the results were that he wasn’t impotent and he sought for anouther opinion and results were the same. He was shocked and was so sorry for what he did to Lenna. He soon confronted Lorrane and his friend and told them he would sue them for that. But in Lorraine’s defence, she just wanted to get revenge. She waited for him for her it wasn’t over but for him it was.

As he got home he called for Lenna she was no where in sight.  He was thinking that maybe she had enough and finally she decided to leave him. He called and callef for her and even shouted her name until Lenna was n front of the door bringing with her the groceries. It was evident that there was fear in her eyes she explained to him that she only went out ti the market to buy something for dinner.

Andrew asked Lenna if she was mad at him and she said no. He told her how sorry he was and f she could forgive him and she said that she could never be mad at him. She owed him her life and she knew that everything would eventually get better once he sees their child. He hugged Lenna and he kissed both Lenna and their child. He was so sorry for both of them.

He told Lenna everything and again she said. It’s okay I know everything would soon be alright. Lenna told him not to sue Lorraine and Joel and so he did. Lorraine was just a victim of love and Joel was just someone who was in love with Lorraine.

He thanked God for giving him someone like Lenna. She was a miracle in his life.

…

A true story of inspiration. A test of true love, trust and faith. One thing I learned about it is that in every relationship, trust us the most important and not to sulk in your problems alone. Always lrarn to share.

Life Changing Moments

There are always life changing moments in life, some experience it in an early stage of life, some in the middle and for others, near the end. But one thing’s for sure, those life changing experiences are all unexpected opportunities. Yes, opportunities, and in every opportunity you have to decide either to grab it, let it slip or even drop it.

Well it’s all part of life, that’s why we are humans, we make our own choices, we are free. There are always someone or something there to guide us but in the end, it’s always up to our own decisions. Whether it be good or bad, no one can control our mind it will always end up in the hands of a singular personal pronoun.

Now here’s the catch. As I have said, they are also unexpected. What if at that moment you are not in the right state of mind and everything just turned into a blur or just into a totally wrong direction, a big fat mess? Well, it’s easy, take control over it. It’s your life and again when we say life, we mean choices. Decision making doesn’t only happen in the beginning but more importantly during the process. That’s why wisdom is an important virtue, not just knolwledge because both of them can not be compared the same.

Just remember these. Though maybe there are times you feel like you are barely holding on to your life, sometimes you just have to pray and let someone help you. Although it’s your lfe, it’s your choices, no man is meant to be alone and when you get up somehow you may find an inspiration from that someone or that experience. And the best decision you can ever make is to

never give up and keep looking forward to live on a better life, to make better choices.

TRUST

Trust. I always have thought that trust is automatic. that in every person there is already a certain trust that every person owes them. Like I said, I thought it was automatic.It was just lately that I realized it really isn’t  the case. I now realize that we should be wise in trusting or entrusting someone with anything.

Human hearts are fragile, easy to break that is why before using your heart, use your brain. Why would it even be above the heart if you would rather take in consideration what your heart says first than your brain. Even as much as you want to trust someone, you have to think first.

As the saying goes,

trust takes years to build and just seconds to break.

So how will we go from now? Do we trust or do we not? That question is hard because trust is essential, either earning it or giving it.

We don’t want to judge a person right a way and sonehow by judging a person, it is by some degree affected by how much you trust that person. We can’t just say that automarically we zero out the trust in someone new or a stranger, it takes a bit of observation and knowing the person first. Then you decide.

Trust is a very big word. It is fragile, it is a privelage. It’s not easy to get and to give. So if trust is really important to you, be wise before you take the risk.

 

Sleepless Nights

Every time a problem is faced, that’s the time when we need a lot of energy to pass it through but somehow, sometimes thinking about this problems gives us sleepless nights. We just can’t help but to think about what’s bothering us by the end of the day when we’re alone until it would  be too late to notice that it’s been way past bedtime.

First, we have our problems, second, we have these sleepless nights that drains a lot of our energy and third, how do we solve these? These  are our 3 problems. Actually, those really aren’t the problem at all because deep inside, we know what we should do to face these problems. The real problem is we are afraid, we are not ready to take the first step. Although the problem may be caused by others or some other factor, the solution lies on ourselves.

How long are we going to detain ourselves from being free? Problems are just there to go through in life. It’s normal, everyone must go through it, we just have to go through. Although the way out of the problem may seem like going through a needle, we know that we should always find a way, there is no problem without a solution.

You may ask, “What if my problems are like some impossible math problems in calculus or in physics and I’m not some genius kid to answer that kind of problem?” Well the answer is simple, obviously, as the saying goes, no man is an island, there always someone we can turn to for help, we call them experts. These are the people we thrust and we know loves us, They give you pieces of advice, they help us, they want what’s best for us.

Finally, after taking the first step, keep on going, never give up, get your way out of the darkness and be free. No more great problems, no more sleepless nights, just the happy, beautiful and healthy you.

To expect or not to?

Ola, amigos! life has been such as surprise every time. Surprise, surprise, and another big surprise right in front of your doorstep. Sometimes you just don’t no what to expect. What comes next? What do I do? Sometimes you just wouldn’t know if that surprise is a good one or not.

Well, life is life. It is always full of the unexpected. So if that’s life, Where do we go from here? It’s simple, always look back into your goal. It would always be there to guide you in making good decisions and after that you pray Pray that things would turn out well or turn out to something you’d be glad about after a while.

Doing that, that’s the time for you to expect a positive surprise because you did something about your life to go towards your goal or just to making things go well but if you just let things be and leave it to the heroes in town I suggest that you shouldn’t expect much of a positive surprise, rather better expect for the other one and just wish for luck or just pray for a miracle.